1. Nonstop nagging.
Says relationship expert and advice columnist April Masini, we often nag when we don't get the results we want. In other words, we're sick to death of finding the socks beside the hamper, so we get into a routine of telling our significant other to put them away until our floors are sock-free. But "you can become aggressive in trying to get those results," Masini warns, which won't do good things for your relationship.
"The better strategy is to change your own behavior. Recognize that nagging isn't the best use of your time, and look for a creative solution to the need you want met instead of barking up the same tree over and over again."
2. Playing the blame game.
Is it never your fault in your relationship? "It's very easy when problems arise to immediately blame and shame our partners," says Alisa Ruby Bash, licensed marriage therapist in Malibu. But by playing the blame game, couples can quickly cross the line from a calm conversation into dirty fighting.
"When we get used to aggressive name calling and hitting below the belt, it can be very difficult to let go of our wounds," Bash explains. "Although arguing is inevitable in even the healthiest of marriages, the way we fight our battles and the words we use can impact our entire future together. So learn to take responsibility for your feelings and reactions when discussing issues. Communicate authentically with kindness."
3. Not showing your appreciation.
"Telling your spouse you love him every day is easy, cheap and not fattening, but so many people don't do it," says Masini, who recommends showing our appreciation in even the smallest ways. Sending a sweet text message or going old school with a love letter tucked in your spouse's purse or wallet are heart-melting moves that don't cost a thing, she says. You could also purchase inexpensive items such as a book or single flower to show your appreciation for all your significant other does on the daily.
"Make this the year where you really show your significant how much you appreciate him or her with little gestures," Masini says. "A year filled with little gestures is much better than one grand one."
4. Getting too comfortable.
Admits Bash, "we all can get too complacent at times." But when we stop putting in the effort we did in our dating days, "we risk losing the spark that brought us together in the first place," she says. "If we start to become more like roommates than lovers, it can be very difficult to find our way back to romantic love." Chemistry, says Bash, isn't always natural. It too can take work.
So this year, "pay attention to your partner's feelings and desires," she says. "Try to resolve anger that builds up between each other. Make your relationship a top priority, even if you are parents. And take care of yourself so that you feel attractive enough to be sexual with your partner."
5. Staying stuck in a rut.
If you find yourself repeating the same things over and over and over again with your spouse, you could be stuck in a rut boring enough to put your relationship right to sleep. "Lots of us resort to certain behaviors such as having sex in the same position or spending date night only at dinner and the movies," she says, "but a great way to live is to shake it up in all corners of your relationship."
Some ways you can shake up your relationship include spending time volunteering together, taking a cooking class, exploring a museum, or setting out on a road trip. "Shaking things up takes effort," Masini says, "but the payoff is finding new interests and new adventures as a couple, and that's a great reason to shake off the rut this year."
Are you having a hard time in love?
Do you find yourself getting frustrated by your man to no end?
Or do you worry your man isn’t into you the way he once was?
It’s funny, isn’t it?
Women want perfect romance.
Men want perfect romance.
And yet, somehow, most men and women just don’t seem happy when they come together to create the romance.
It starts off perfectly, just like they say it would in fairytales.
It’s all bliss and romance for a good year or two, and then, things just start to change.
[Read: The 9 relationship stages all couples go through]
And that perfect romance you once found just vanishes into thin air, right before your eyes.
Have you experienced that?
Well, it’s never too late to change your romance stars and bring love and happiness back into your life.
Must-know relationship advice for women
If you’re still dating, well, you’re not in a committed relationship yet, so you can use the Lovepanky dating girl’s code to help you get off to the perfect start.
But if you’re in a committed relationship, read on, because these must-know relationship advice could help you, and it really could change your life for the better.
The one big relationship tip all girls need to know
Many women say they try hard but they just can’t make relationships work. A few others say they had no idea when the relationship started to go bad. But in reality, all of us know what we need to do to fix a relationship all the time!
But we procrastinate, assume the effort is just not worth the hassle, or we’re too egoistic to bend over. So if you really want your relationship to work out, just keep one piece of advice in mind. Trust your instincts.
It’s as simple as that. If you feel like something’s not right, in all probability, something is definitely wrong. Communicate and make the effort. At times, the relationship may be a failed cause because your man’s a bad guy. But almost always, the relationship stagnates because you and your lover have started to take the relationship for granted. [Read: 25 relationship rules for a successful long term relationship]
23 relationship tips for a better love life
If you’re looking for relationship advice for women, just keep these 23 tips in mind. It’ll help you experience better relationships and have a better love life too!
#1 Play with him. Playfulness is the one thing that holds a happy relationship together more than anything else. Just because you’re past your childhood doesn’t mean you should act all grown up all the time!
#2 Men are easily influenced by other men around them in their life. If his friends and other guys in the room think you’re a dream catch, he’ll fall more in love and stay more in love with you, and avoid straying away from you. [Read: 30 super sexy ways to keep a guy interested in you!]
#3 Not all men understand the art of chivalry, romantic gestures and romance. Instead of giving up on him, show him the way by example, and he’ll learn to treat you with respect. [Read: Examples to get your man to treat you like a lady]
#4 Listen to his point of view before arguing back or cutting across him. It’s the easiest way to prevent tempers from rising. And don’t be condescending either!
#5 You can’t change someone who doesn’t want to be changed. Help your man understand you better and help him learn by example. But if doesn’t want to change for you, perhaps, he doesn’t respect you or care enough for you, and you need someone else who can love you for who you are. [Read: 16 reasons why your man may be so mean to you]
#6 Don’t constantly remind him of his past failures. Men are very sensitive when it comes to past mistakes. He’ll clam up like a shell if you use his past failures to get him to accept defeat or listen to you.
#7 Don’t blame yourself. You’re never entirely at fault if the relationship starts to suffer. So don’t blame yourself completely if you’re experiencing a bad relationship. Accept responsibility, but don’t blame yourself unless it really is your fault. [Read: The 80 20 rule you need to follow in your relationship]
#8 Men can’t read minds. As convinced as you are that men should have the innate ability to read a woman’s mind, they really can’t. So speak your mind and he will listen to your thoughts.
#9 No guy likes a drama queen, especially if she goes looking for ways to complicate the relationship.
#10 The silent treatment. Ignoring your boyfriend when he hurts you may seem like the best way to teach him a lesson. But truth be told, the silent treatment won’t make him stop hurting you, it’s only make him a better liar! [Read: How to perfect the silent treatment in your love life]
#11 You and your partner are a team. There are no winners or losers between partners. Either both of you will win or both of you will lose together. So any issue has to be worked out to better the relationship, not to win points.
#12 Men think they hate high maintenance women. But that’s exactly the kind of girl they secretly desire. [Read: 15 signs you’re definitely a high maintenance woman]
#13 Love is a complex blend of physical attraction and emotional attachment for men. Make a man realize that he needs you emotionally before he sees all of you sexually. [Read: The seven stages of love for men]
#14 Every guy loves a girl who’s a lady on the street and a hooker in bed.
#15 Love is full of layers. Take time to fall in love, and experience the relationship one step at a time. Rushing too soon or moving in together too soon can make him think twice about his commitment to you even before he’s really fallen in love. [Read: 10 reasons why saying ‘I love you’ too soon sucks!]
#16 Don’t let yourself go in you’re in a long term relationship. Sexual attraction plays a big part in a happy romance. Work out and look your best if you want your man to desire you more than he desires any other woman.
#17 Insecurity woes. Don’t let your insecurities get the better of you. Sex appeal is all in your mind and how you project yourself. [Read: 14 easy tips to feel sexy and desirable all the time!]
#18 Praise him for his achievements, even if it’s small. He’ll try harder all the time just to win your praise.
#19 Don’t try too hard to please your man if your gestures aren’t reciprocated. He’d just take you for granted. Instead, make him realize just how lucky he is to have you. Most guys just take things for granted instead of realizing how lucky they are. [Read: How to make your boyfriend want you more than ever]
#20 A man needs his space, even if he doesn’t ask for it. As long as he’s by himself or with his guy friends, you really have nothing to worry about. In fact, it’ll help both of you love each other better. [Read: How to give space in a relationship and better the love]
#21 Get kinky. A relationship needs to evolve all the time, and so does sexual intimacy. If you think your sex life is starting to get predictable or boring, try something new every now and then. Talking dirty is a great way to kickstart your sexual adventure. [Read: How to talk dirty and arouse your man with words]
#22 Don’t knee him below the belt using sarcasm or snide comments. If he feels helpless or emotionally violated, he’ll stop communicating with you.
#23 Be his shoulder to lean on. As macho as he seems, he’s almost always a child who needs a woman’s love to give him emotional strength.
These tips could seem pleasantly easy to follow. But as you read these relationship advices, do you really think you’re following all these tips in your own love life?
Here are 10 reasons why others’ approval shouldn’t matter to your life:
1. It’s Not Their Life
It’s as simple as that. This is your life to live. At the end of the day you are the only person who needs to approve of your choices. Besides, it’s not their life. They have their own things to focus on and worry about. You can even remind them to mind their own business and concentrate on their own life, while you focus on yours.
2. They Don’t Know What’s Best For You
Nobody will ever be as invested in your life as you. Only you know what is best for you, and that entails learning from your own choices. The only way you will ever truly learn is through making your own decisions, taking full responsibility for them, and that way if you do fail, at least you can learn from it wholeheartedly, as opposed to blame-shifting it onto somebody else. If you want to live a meaningful and fulfilled life, you have to own your choices and learn from them. This will build your character and help you grow.
3. What’s Right For Someone Else May Be Completely Wrong For You
It’s important to recognize that someone’s opinion is often based on what they would do. This alone is the problem. What is best for somebody else, can be the worst thing for you. What one person considers garbage can be another person’s treasure. We are all so unique, thus, only you know what is right for you.
4. Be Independent Of The Good Opinions of Others
Spiritual teacher Deepak Chopra writes:
“If you’re really spiritual, then you should be totally independent of the good and the bad opinions of the world…you should have faith in yourself.”
This is one of the wisest teachings I know. You see, often the people who give you their opinions (and even commands!) love you and have your best interest at heart. They are telling you what they believe is best for you. They have good intentions and thus their opinion is essentially good, since they are telling you what they believe is right. However, even if their opinions are coming from a good place, you still need to be independent of them. Inside all of us is a deep intuitive knowing that gives us solid information on what is best for us. When you listen to that deep knowing, you will feel a sense of joy, expansion, and deep peace (even if the choice is a little scary and out of your comfort zone). The wise teacher is inside of you. At the end of the day, you must choose what is right for you—even when others’ well-intended opinions differ from your own.
5. You’re The One Stuck With The End Result
In life, you are the one stuck with the consequences of your decisions. For example, if someone suggests you buy some stocks, but you just don’t feel like it’s the right choice, you are the only one who will live the consequences. If the stock falls and you lose a lot of money, you are the one that will have to live with the fact that you didn’t follow your inner call. When people give you their suggestions or even orders, there is no risk for them. They don’t have to live with your choices—but you do.
6. Your Inner Guidance Matters
When you listen to the call from within—your deep desires, yearnings, and dreams—you end up living a fulfilling life. As Joseph Campbell famously teaches: “follow your bliss” as this always takes you to the place you are supposed to be. And only you know what that inner call is. It is better to live a fulfilling life that you can approve of than living a life for somebody else.
7. Trust Your Ability To Make Decisions
It’s common to want and seek the approval of others, however this can leave us in a terrible position where we lose trust in ourselves. The more you seek approval of others, the less confidence you will have in your ability to make your own decisions. Making decisions by yourself is akin to working a muscle. The more you make your own decisions, the easier it becomes, and the stronger you become inside leading to greater confidence in your choices. Conversely, every time you give your power away, and rely on others to make decisions for you, you weaken the muscle of confidence and decision making. Start strengthening your decision muscles today by relying on yourself to make your own decisions.
8. Live With Integrity
When you live life by your terms and with your approval you are living an authentic life. Alternatively, when you live searching for others’ approval, you end up living a lie since it is not the life you truly desire. Living with integrity means acting in alignment with what you feel is right. When you live by others’ standards you are not living a true life, nor is this a life of integrity.
9. Others Don’t Care As Much As You Think
If you find yourself worried about what others think of you, chances are they are not thinking about you as much as you believe. We all have complex lives to attend to, and whatever approval you are seeking from another, chances are they don’t care as much as you worry about. Therefore, the best thing you can do for yourself is take the energy you put into worrying over others’ approval, and transform that energy into evaluating what you truly approve of. Make sure you approve of what you do—that’s what matters!
10. The Hard Truth: It’s Impossible To Please Everybody
The fact is some people just won’t like you, and some people will never approve of what you do. So you might as well get on with what you feel is right. Whether it’s regarding what you are wearing, a business decision, or career decision, not everyone you know—from family to clients and co-workers—will approve of what you choose. It’s just the hard truth. But that’s part of the saving grace in all of this. Simply knowing this gives us the freedom to act honestly in our lives. At the very least, you’ll be able to sleep at night with peace, knowing that you approve of and are pleased with your choices.
2). Don't expose your husband's weaknesses to your family and friends. It will bounce back at you. You are each other's keeper.(Eph 5v12)
3). Never use attitudes and moods to communicate to your husband, you never know how your husband will interpret them. Defensive women don't have a happy home.(Prov 15v13)
4). Never compare your husband to other men, you've no idea what their life is all about. If you attack his Ego, his Love for you will diminish.
5). Never ill treat your husband's friends because you don't like them, the person who's supposed to get rid of them is your husband.(Prov 11v22)
6). Never forget that your husband married you, not your maid or anyone else. Do your duties.(Gen 2v24)
7). Never assign anyone to give attention to your husband, people may do everything else but your husband is your own responsibility.(Eph 5v33)
8). Never blame your husband if he comes back home empty handed. Rather encourage him.(Deut 3v28)
9). Never be a wasteful wife, your husband's sweat is too precious to be wasted.
10). Never pretend to be sick for the purpose of denying your husband sex. You must give it to him how he wants it. Sex is very important to Men, if you keep denying him; it is a matter if time before another woman takes over the duty. No man can withstand sex starvation for too long (even the anointed ones) (SS 7v12)
11). Never compare your husband to your one time sex mate in bedroom, or an Ex-lover. Your home may Never recover from it if you do.(SS 5v9)
12). Never answer for your husband in public opinion polls, let him handle what is directed to him although he may answer for you in public opinion polls.(Prov 31v23)
13). Never shout or challenge your husband in front of children. Wise Women don't do that.(Eph 4v31)
14). Don't forget to check the smartness of your husband before he checks out.(Prov 12v4)
15). Never allow your friends to be too close to your husband.
16). Never be in a hurry in the bathroom and on the dressing table. Out there your husband is always surrounded by women who took their time on their looks.( 1 Sam25v3)
17). Your parents or family or friends do not have the final say in your marriage. Don't waste your time looking up to them for a final word. You must Leave if you want to Cleave.(Luke 21v16)
18). Never base your love on monetary things. Will you still submit to him even if you earn more money than him?
19). Don't forget that husbands want attention and good listeners, never be too busy for him. Good communication is the bed rock of every happy home. (Gal 6v9)
20). If your idea worked better than his, never compare yourself to him. Its always teamwork.(Gal 6v10)
21). Don't be too judgmental to your husband. No man wants a Nagging wife.(Eph 4v29)
22). A lazy wife is a careless wife. She doesn't even know that her body needs a bath.(Prov 24v27)(Prov 20v13)
23). Does your husband like a kind of cooked food?, try to change your cooking. No man jokes with food. (Prov 31v14)
24). Never be too demanding to your husband, enjoy every moment, resource as it comes.(Luke 11v3)
25). Make a glass of water the very first welcome to your husband and everyone entering your home. Sweetness of attitude is true beauty. (Prov 31v11)
26). Don't associate with women who have a wrong mental attitude about marriage.(Prov 22v14)
27). Your marriage is as valuable to you as the value that you give it. Recklessness is unacceptable.(Heb 13v4)
28). Fruit of the womb is a blessing from the Lord, love your children and teach them well.(Prov 22v6)
29). You are never too old to influence your home. Never reduce your care for your family for any reason. (Prov 31v28)
30). A prayerful wife is a better equipped wife, pray always for your husband and family(1 Thess 5v17)
Have a lovely day.
Now she's back with a new single titled "DIRTY LOVE" produced by Kizzybeat, she's recently working on a single with an A-list artiste which is expected to drop before the year runs out.
LISTEN/DOWNLOAD 'DIRTY LOVE
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD
Emmanuel Ikoro Ogbuja Ikoro aka "OGB" studied Mechanical Engineering and graduated from Sheffield Hallam University.
Growing up he wanted to be so many different things at different points in his life. He went from wanting to be a soldier to a priest, to a basketball player then an engineer before he finally settled for music! He has been making music for quite a while and has even released a mixtape titled, "We Were Kingz".
“ ERE “ definitely seams to follow that trend,with a catchy hook and ear popping dance beat which will send any body to the dance floor unconsciously. This multitalented D.C.C.R recording Artist is definitely becoming a force to reckon with
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD
Flux Factory premiered LK Kuddy's “Vanilla” produced by celebrated producer GospelOnDeBeatz and featuring afro-pop titan Iyanya a few weeks ago and now they are unveiling the music video for the buzzing track.
Directed by Matt Max, watch below, enjoy, share and drop your comments.
VIDEO: NIKKI LAOYE WINS FEMALE ARTISTE OF THE YEAR 2014 AFRICA GOSPEL MUSIC AWARDS, UK + ARISE NEWS INTERVIEW
Nigerian Soul Singer, Nikki Laoye is the Female Artist of the Year Africa 2014, an award bestowed to the hardworking singer at the just concluded 2014 Africa Gospel Music Awards, UK on the 24th of August, 2104 at Fairfield Halls, Croydon, London.. Indeed, it's been a roll of awards and nominations for the petite songstress since her major Headies win in December 2013 for "Best Vocal Performance Female", beating the likes of Waje, Niyola, Seyi Shay and Zaina, with her unforgettable ballad,"Only You", dedicated to her father's memory.
With the release of her chart topping dance video "123" earlier on this year, Nikki has her name on lips across the globe and it was no surprise to see her take the top award of the night in London.Few days after, Nikki Laoye alongside award winning singer/OAP, Sabina Umoren were interviewed on popular TV station, Arise News TV in London. Watch the interesting in-depth ThisDay Live interview by renowned TV host, Julliett Foster on Arise News TV, London, on the heels of their major wins at the prestigious Africa Gospel Music Awards in London.
The song which was produced by TripleMG's, Tekno, featured one of Nigeria's top rappers, Magnito & also features the Tekno as well.
Brown Shuga recently in an interview on Nigezie TV compared himself withfast rising Dancehall artiste, Patoranking, stating that he is actually better than the Pato. Brown Shuga came into limelight in the music industry late last year with 2 singles, "In My" ft. Tekno and "Have Mercy", both produced by Tekno.
He has also shot videos for the two songs, with Patrick Elis and Afam D Man, respectively. Brown Shuga had also earlier dropped a single titled "Gang War" ft. Terry Tha Rapman and was also recently featured by artistes such as Pheroshwuz and Butafly in recent singles. Please take out time, listen to this track and ascertain whether Brown Shuga is true to his word.
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD