But then what? Wallow in the foamy sweetness of your coffee beverage? Mail yourself holiday love cards? Build a fortress out of your blankets and pillows and hole up in bed until January 2nd?
No, no, no, no, no.
There are studies galore diagnosing holiday loneliness. From what I read around the internet, some factors contributing to why people feel lonelier over the holidays are high expectations for a calendar packed with ebullient gatherings, good or bad memories of lost loved ones (whether the loss is due to death, falling outs, or breakups), and a tendency to nostalgically compare The Way Things Are to The Way They Were. There’s also increased pressure to be coupled up (surprise!). You might have to face pesky parents, aunts, grandparents, great-uncles, etc. etc. who are overwrought when their progeny— male or female— shows up to Hanukah dinner without a Plus One yet again.
Now I’m not going to deny anyone feeling true loneliness and grief. It’s if you’re losing sleep over heartbreak or longing, if you’re aching for the presence of a relative or friend, if you’re regretting that a goal didn’t pan out over the year. With the spirit of New Year’s Resolutions in the air, we can’t help but be in a reflective mood, and sometimes all that thinking will lead to genuine upset*.
But here’s the thing, guys and gals: you don’t have to feel Less-Than because you’re single over the holidays. There an upside to your solo status. Like…think about all that money you’re going to save not buying gifts for a significant other! (I’ve heard two guys say that not having a girlfriend over the holidays is a bonus for their bank accounts.) Also, you don’t have to grin-and-bear-it through his crazy family’s Christmas Eve. There will be no skipping multiple spin classes or missing new episodes of for her business events. You could have a wild, no-strings New Years Eve fling, if you want. And without double the parties full of fattening foods and drinks, come January you’ll be hotter than all of your friends who’ve grown love handles. (
Below the surface, though, now is a time to celebrate your singleness and be joyful about your independence. Never underestimate the strength it takes to be alone. It’s a bitch to walk into that Christmas party and interact with a room full of couples without qualifying why you don’t have someone on your arm. A solution if your status is questioned? Tell them all the wonderful things you’re doing in your life, because being single, your time is 100% yours. Don’t forget it: you’re making your life choices for , you’re braving the journey to find personal fulfillment, you’re taking life by Santa’s reigns and saying “Yes, this is me, on my own, and I’m making the most of it
So when you find yourself tearing up in Bed Bath and Beyond when Michael Bublé’s “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” is on the musak, slowly back away from the knife sets and remember the awesomeness of being you. The holidays are a time to reflect on the past year, where you are in your life today, and what you hope for in the future. If a significant other or more dates are on your wish list, great! Consider how you can be open to dating and love opportunities in 2012. As a single person during the holidays, let your gift to yourself be peace, joy, and love within. (And maybe a couple of luxury goods, too.) Sounds like a Happy Holidays to me.
* Just note, it’s normal to go through emotional ups and downs, but if you’re feeling prolonged depression or having thoughts of harming yourself or others, consider seeking professional guidance.
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