THE TOP TEN WORST MOVIES OF ALL TIME!

In this list of the ten most horrific movies of all time it is important to have in mind that they are my personal horror stories. It is an unnatural gift I have to sometimes pick a very shitty movie and sit through the whole thing. Even though ten minutes into the movie I find out how bad it is my body keeps me through the whole thing. To accompany my reviews on these bad movies I will include the Rotten Tomatoes ratings just to clarify how shitty these movies really are. Some though might have lower ratings, but my opinion will still stand in the shitty ranking order of my past. So here are my top ten most horrible movies that I have seen.

Number 10: Dylan Dog Dead of Night(2011) Rotten Tomatoes rating: 6%

Actors: Brandon RouthBrandon Routh, Sam Huntington

This particular piece of movie crap was bestowed upon me in the form of a mildly entertaining trailer that I thought could amount to a decent funny zombie movie somewhat in the same vein as Shawn of the dead. Oh Boy was I wrong. I rented this on the American Redbox for a dollar, and I should have just burned the dollar than rent this movie. Based on a comic of a Paranormal investigator the main character tries to be an ace detective solving crimes of the underworld with vampires, werewolves, and many other mythical creatures. The acting is appalling the Main character Dylan puts in a performance that makes a tree look stiff. Graphics and monsters lack imagination, and the only parts trying to be funny come from one lines of a singular pathetic side kick. Save yourself some time from this movie, it will turn you into a zombie for sure.

Number 9: Envy (2004) Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 6%

Actors: Ben Still, Jack BlackJack Black

Oh how I remember this one. When I first saw this movie existed I wondered why I had never heard of it. A movie with Ben Stiller, and Jack Black who at this time was riding high on his relative fame, these two in a movie had to be good. Oh how naïve I was to think this direct to DVD movie was anything more than the premises of Envy shitty! Jack Black was played the co-worker of Ben Stiller that invented a “spray” that made mounds of dog poop disappear. As the title Ben Stiller became envious of his extremely rich friend. That is pretty much it, as the jokes about poop were even shittier than the name of this movie. It was rumored that Ben Stiller hated the final version so much he refused to release it to theatres, thus the direct to dvd.

Number 8: Street Fighter the Legend of Chun-Li (2009) Rotten Tomatoes rating:4%

Actors :Kristin Kreuk, Chris Klein

It is movies like this that really le me know that there exists no higher power. If a movie like this can so butcher a video game series I love so much, then I give up on life. This movie has bad graphics, shitty acting, and even worse scripting. It is as if someone had a layout plan for how to ruin the childhoods of a generation this is one of them. Along with certain Indian Jones movies.

Number 7: Date Movie, Disaster Movie, and Epic Movie Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 6%

Actors: Too many

I have grouped these especially horrible movies together to save the shitty space that will go down below. These movies have varied on the genre they try to portray and make fun of. With very little success in terms of jokes, and actual plot lines these movies are nothing but industry fodder. Even the jokes that joke about the disaster movies, or super hero movies or horrendous, they could have simply said wow look there are a lot of super hero movies. That one minute video would be better than the plethora of crap they made in these three films.

Number 6: Deck the Halls (2006) Rotten Tomatoes: 6%

Actors: Mathew Broderick, Danny De Vito

OK so this movie delves into a new category of bad Christmas movies. There are some good Christmas movies that are near to my heart such as A Christmas Story, and The Grinch. But there is something about rebranding washed up actors into insane Christmas plots. This movie is about a man played by Mathew Broderick who is the labeled Mr. Christmas, when a rival comes into town to take his title. The whole movie is one character trying to one up the other in Christmas Lights. Literally brain numbing.

Number 5: Son of the Mask (2005) Rotten Tomatoes: 6%

Actors: Jamie Kennedy, Alan Cummings

Another crappy sequel to the wacky and lovable Mask with Jim Carrey, this movie is set with a family somehow finding the mask the dog and baby both turn into the mask baby and dog I guess. The whole thing is an excuse to use the Mask name. It sorely misses Jim Carrey, and any semblance of a script. The jokes are tired while not relating to a young or older audience. A bad movie overall.

Number 4: Boat Trip (2003) Rotten Tomatoes: 6%

Actors: Cuba Good Jr., Horatio Sanz

Ok so when I was a teenager this came out and from the previews I thought it was going to have lots of raunchy jokes and some nudity. However what I got was the most gay references and jokes I had ever seen. Though I mean jokes they are more like attempted jokes when Cuba and Sanz best friends go on a boat cruise to one get over an ex girlfriend, and two get as much ladies as possible. When pissing off the travel agent they get on a gay cruise. The build up is ok, but then the hour and change of bad gay joke after the other comes highlighting gay people as a stereotype and making a shitty movie.

Number 3: Daddy Day Camp (2007) Rotten Tomatoes: 1%

Actors: Cuba Gooding Jr., Richard Grant

Another fantastically crappy Cuba Gooding Junior movie, following in the footsteps of the just average Daddy Day Care with Eddy Murphy, Daddy Day Camp is exactly the same plot but with a different failing actor. To keep the camp afloat a military father is brought in, and then little side adventures happen. Literally all there is to the movie is men taking care of kids. I wanted to get up and leave but my dumb ass had to sit through the whole thing and watch Cuba do another bad movie for probably a low paycheck.

Number 2: The Master of Disguise (2004) Rotten Tomatoes: 2%

Actors: Dana CarveyDana Carvey

This hunk of junk came into existence to try and play out a SNL skit that was funny for 5 minutes, but not for an hour and a half long movie. The plot starts with a waiter who impersonates everything he can, and finally when his parents are kidnapped for some weird reason, Dana Carvey enlists his Grandfather to help him train his disguises. Finding out his family has a long line of magical abilities to transform into anything they wish, apparently one of them is a turtle. This is a pathetic movie that lacks imagination even with their disguises. Should have been kept as a mediocre SNL skit.

Number 1: Freddy Got Fingered (2001) Rotten Tomatoes: 11%

Actors: Tom GreenTom Green

This one is a very personal choice. As you can see it has the highest Rotten Tomatoes score out of the previous choices but for me it was the worst movie I have seen in my entire existence. Just from the outset Tom Green is a slacker son who is just horrible to his family, especially his dad. Tom Green’s character then creates a cartoon he sells for one million dollars and spends the entire amount to get back at his dad in the end. Stupid plot but the scenes in the movie is what makes this shit journey unbearable. He builds a skateboard half pipe in his back yard and doesn’t nail in a board properly leaving him to bleed everywhere. It is an obvious ploy and set up just to have a shock in the movie, ten minutes just to see some blood. He eventually accuses his father of sexually harassing him, and gets more disgusting and pointless. If you spend your life without seeing this movie you are a better person for it.

for more: http://www.everydaynight.com/

So there it is my personal top ten shitty movies of all time!

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